Shot By Brent

No, just a regular mistake

Nov 11, 2016
By Thomas Mass

Kif, I have mated with a woman. Inform the men. Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers. Hello, little man. I will destroy you! OK, this has gotta stop. I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. Hello, little man Oh yeah, good luck with that. No, just a regular mistake. I love you, buddy! Say what?…

You wouldn’t be there

Nov 8, 2016
By Thomas Mass

Ah, the 'Breakfast Club' soundtrack! I can't wait til I'm old enough to feel ways about stuff! Okay, I like a challenge. Yeah, lots of people did. Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! I saw you with those two "ladies of the evening" at Elzars. Explain that. I found what I need. And it's not friends,…

I have to go and buy soundtrack

Nov 6, 2016
By Thomas Mass

I saw you with those two "ladies of the evening" at Elzars. Explain that. I found what I need. And it's not friends, it's things. Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say. You wouldn't. Ask anyway! You guys realize you live in a…

Finding a needle in a haystack

Nov 2, 2016
By Thomas Mass

Only you could make those words cute. God created pudding, and then he rested. Only you could make those words cute. You look…perfect. I'm doing mental jumping jacks. Only you could make those words cute. Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. I'm real proud of you for coming, bro. I know you hate funerals. I will destroy you I'm a…

And so we say goodbye

Nov 2, 2016
By Thomas Mass

I love you, buddy And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet. File not found. Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them? Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything. It may comfort you to know that Fry's…

This is fun

Nov 2, 2016
By Thomas Mass

I'm partial to air conditioning. I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask … not just me. Watching ice melt. This is fun. I'm really more an apartment person. Makes me a … scientist. Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be. I will not…

I’m going to remind

Nov 2, 2016
By Thomas Mass

Why did you bring us here? This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me! I'm just glad my fat, ugly mama isn't alive to see this day. I had more, but you go ahead. Goodbye, friends. I never thought I'd die like this. But I always really hoped. Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You'd think it…

Shut up and take my money

Aug 5, 2016
By Thomas Mass

Dissect its brain! That's right, baby. I ain't your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. You even love anyone pretending to be him! Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball's in Farnsworth's court! You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don't pay you or let you go. I don't want to be rescued. Who am I…

Keep your mind

Aug 1, 2016
By Thomas Mass

We are more Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be. I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone before. Tonight's the night. And it's going to happen again and again. It has to happen. Hello, Dexter Morgan. I'm not the monster he wants me to be.…

Tonight’s the night

Aug 1, 2016
By Thomas Mass

Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. I like seafood. I'm really more an apartment person. I'm generally confused most of the time. I'm Dexter, and I'm not sure what I am. I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone before. Under normal circumstances, I'd take that as a compliment. Tell him time is of the essence. I'm…